Type Two
The Helper
Twos are people-oriented, warm, and keenly perceptive about the needs, wants, and feelings of others.
At their best, they are altruistic people who can quickly empathize with the needs of others. They are highly gregarious and know how to establish instant rapport with others. They are generous people who voluntarily help others as a selfless act of support and love—not to obtain something in return.
Although they are always ready to help others, they respect and are attuned to their own needs and know how to say no and how to set boundaries. Their giving is not at the expense of their own needs. They love working with people; they have high energy and are very expressive while also being gentle, compassionate, and sensitive.
They can truly listen empathically to another person and help him or her on their own terms: they are able to give their support in the way people want to receive it.
In the Stuckness Zone, an intense desire to impress others starts running inside them. An “I must be and look successful” belief dominates their thinking. Consequently, their attention automatically goes in these two directions: on one hand, how to be successful; on the other, how to look successful.
In order to be successful, they believe they must work hard to get things done quickly and efficiently. Their attention automatically goes to tasks and goals, which in itself can be a good thing, but they can become overactive workaholics who never take a rest and are unable to slow down their tempo and pace. Work becomes their only focus. Their own feelings (and other people’s feelings) are seen as distracting obstacles to their efficient, machine-like desired performance. Other people may be themselves seen as obstacles in their way to obtain their goals, and the Three begins playing more for himself or herself and less as a cooperative team player with others. They are tougher and impatient with people, especially if they perceive them as inefficient, incompetent, or hesitant. A strong competitive drive arises, and with it a desire to always be on top of others in as many aspects of life as possible, as if life was a game to be won. Failure is not an option for them. If they try to attain success “the faster the better,” they may adopt a “the end justifies the means” frame of mind. They can become manipulative, unprincipled, and unscrupulous.
In order to look successful, they believe they must carefully cultivate a successful image and promote themselves. Their attention tends to go automatically to the way they look and how they are perceived by others. They may become image-conscious performers, trying too hard to mask their real self in order to be seen as successful and obtain external approval, acceptance, and appreciation for their achievements. They adopt the language of selling and self-promotion. This makes them chameleonic and makes them act adaptively to whatever they believe will win the admiration of others in every situation and context. They will try to project prestige, status, professionalism, beauty, or whatever their social context will value as ideal. In a parallel approach to their human “imperfections,” they avoid talking about them and try to project an image of flawless functioning in as many areas of their life as possible.
Stress and emotional drain arise, since it is very difficult to maintain a perfect, “successful” image for periods as long as they do. Physical exhaustion arises from their busy, workaholic lifestyle.